Cursed Words, Cursed Lives
by Lyra Kamiya
Summary: Long after graduation, everyone but Tohru seems to have lost all hope. In a final act of desperation, she seeks out the help of the last option... Akito. Rating may rise. Spoiler warning up to chapter 114 and possibly beyond.
1. And the fly flew into the spider's web

1So Lyra returns to writing fanfics after a three year hiatus.

Don't look so surprised. You know I don't die that easily.

Ah yes, the ever-bothersome disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of the characters. I do, however, claim this fic as my own, and if anyone plagiarizes me, there will be hell.

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_I am a **God.**_

_I was born for the sole purpose of being worshiped. My followers were designated before I was even born, before many of them were born. Those that were alive came to me from the start._

_**They were waiting for me. For me, their one and only God.**_

_They loved me from the start. I am here only to be loved._

_Then she came along... That girl, with her long hair and tiny figure. She wormed her way into their lives and began stealing my followers. That bitch, that monster dared to defy me - THEY ALL dared to defy me! To love another, especially another woman, instead of me, their only God._

_They will pay. They will pay, as Hatori did in the past, as Isuzu did in the past, as the cat does now, as several of the others deserve to._

_Most of all, she will pay._

Chapter 1: And the fly flew into the spider's web

Tohru was quiet as she strode through the Inner Village. While she was, by now, a common sight to most of the Sohmas who lived here, she was still technically not allowed on these grounds. The passage that Momo had once shown her now served as a frequent gateway for the outsider, and usually, she used it only if she wanted to visit Momiji or another of those on the inside of the walls.

Today, like so many before it, there would be no cheerful visits. She purposely walked in a wide arc, avoiding coming within view of Hatori's house. She hadn't seen either of them... Actually, she'd hardly seen any of the juunishi, not since the end of the school year.

Not since that awful day.

And yet, every day since then, she'd come into the Inner Village. She knew well by now exactly where the Cat's Room, as it was so disdainfully called, lay, and she would wait until she was sure it was safe, and she would quietly talk to Kyou. It had been four months since she'd seen or touched him. He'd given up all hope of ever escaping, but the secret visits allowed him to retain what was left of his humanity. Each night he fell asleep as she spoke, praying that Tohru's voice would be the last thing he'd ever have to hear.

Once more, she kneeled beside his confinement, speaking just loud enough to be heard through the wood. He hardly ever responded, but she knew he heard her, and that was enough.

No one else knew she came here, save Kureno. He'd caught her once, but had agreed to say nothing. The others might have suspected it, but if so, none had said a thing to Tohru. This was something for her and her alone.

As was her ceaseless quest to free him. She knew the others were just as caged, and if anything, they were more unfortunate. Every day they were faced with people they cared for, people they could never touch. Kyou was at least spared the pain of watching other, "normal" people, while Kureno's guilt served as the firmest cage of all.

As the last shreds of light faded from the sky, Tohru rose once more, her face blank but tear stained. Every night she remembered that she could offer no comfort to the other cursed. Only one thing would ever comfort them, now.

Freedom.

A whim had been following Tohru for quite some time now. Tonight, she finally acted upon it.

The detour she took that night broke every promise she'd ever made to the others and violated most of what logic told her. It was her last option though; she and Isuzu had exhausted every alternative, there was nothing else left to try.

She didn't make it to the door. Akito was already outside to meet her.

"Well hello there, you ugly little monster. What are you doing here? Come to play with my things again?"


	2. So many questions

Chapter 2: So many questions

"Well hello there, you ugly little monster. What are you doing here? Come to play with my things again?"

"I, um," Tohru stammered. She wasn't sure what she'd planned to do... probably, ask Akito directly if she knew the cure. Suddenly, though, that didn't seem like such a good idea. Her head hung as she searched her mind for a response, the passing of precious seconds punctuated by a disgusted sigh from the Goddess.

"Answer me, you worthless creature. Why are you in my sight? Why are you near MY things!"

As Akito's hand wrapped around her collar, Tohru felt something snap inside her. Her mother's Yankee blood burst to the surface for an instant, released in a violent scream: "They're not YOURS! They're humans, not THINGS!"

A flash of rage over being contradicted passed over Akito's steely eyes; the next instant, her victim lay on the ground before her, the crack of palm hitting cheek still resounding in the air. "They are mine," she growled deliberately, her voice growing more callous and with each word. Her gaze sharpened as she stared at the fallen girl for an instant, a sadistic smile curling along one side of her mouth as she saw the tears pour down Tohru's face. "Pathetic," she spat, turning to return to her house.

Tohru rose to her knees, gasping quietly, unaware of the fact she was crying. She was vaguely aware of Akito's form retreating before her, and she called after, her words hesitant and broken. "W-wait... Please, wait..."

She barely stopped an instant. "How dare you ask anything of me," she said, then continued, her silhouette vanishing inside the doorway.

"I wonder," Tohru whispered, watching the Goddess vanish through watery eyes, "why she hates me so much... What did I do to make Akito-san despise me so..."

"Why are you still speaking?"

She gasped, clapping one hand over her mouth as she realized she'd been thinking aloud again. Her eyes rose toward Akito, half wondering if she'd get an answer and half hoping she hadn't been understood. There was no evidence of either in the woman's hidden form, and no answer came, only more questions.

"Answer me! Why are you still here! Answer me or leave NOW!"

"Uh-uh-I, I..." She gasped then whimpered as Akito stepped back towards her. "Please, I'm sorry Akito-sama! I only came to ask for your help!" Instinctively, she bowed, hoping the show of respect would calm the Goddess's temper.

The only sound that followed was Akito's approaching footsteps, and Tohru's heart began to pound as she instinctively tensed, expecting another blow. She knew from Isuzu and Hatori exactly what Akito was capable of when angered, and currently, she was the sole target of the deity's wrath. She tried to move, to will herself to look up when the steps stop, but she was frozen, too terrified to be the first to break the silence.

Akito stared down at the pathetic creature before her. It would almost be too easy to kill her right there, but right now, seeing the way Tohru cowered before her, she was more inclined to play with the girl a while. The sheer stupidity of everything that came out of her mouth amused her enough to counter the repulsion she felt when she looked at her. "What makes you think I would help you? Are you that selfish that you expect me to lower myself to your level and do your bidding? Or are you too stupid to grasp what you're asking?"

A shiver went through Tohru before she found an answer. "I... I thought you might know... how to break the curse... h-how to free the juunishi... I want to help them..."

"You want to _what?_"

She gasped, her words becoming faster as she began to panic. "It... It's just that... I want to make them happy... and, I thought you might like that too..."

"Never, EVER, make assumptions about what _I_ might _like!_ NEVER!" Her eyes widened as her anger grew again. "You will NOT take them away from me. They _love_ me, and they will stay by my side forever! You can't have them!"

For a moment, Tohru continued to cower, shaking as she listened to Akito's angry breathing. She wanted to say something, to scream out that they didn't really love her, but no words would come, only terror.

Finally, the strike came, and Tohru was curled on her side once more, the stinging in her face returning with more force. "Get out of my sight you FREAK!" Akito hissed. "NOW!"

Unwilling to face further injury, Tohru stumbled to her feet and ran blindly, weaving through the trees and weeping. She felt so hopeless, so useless, and now she knew why the Sohmas feared their God so. Her feet caught on a tree root, tripping her, and she went tumbling through the grass. For a few minutes she lay where she landed, just crying as she stared at the moon.

The realization crept across her slowly as Akito's words replayed themselves in her head, trying to eat away at what hope remained within her. In a moment of understanding, she resolved to return the next day to ask again.

_They love me, and they will stay by my side forever! You can't have them!_

"Akito-san... I wonder if you really know what love means..."


	3. Idle plans

1A/N: For those of you wondering, yes, this does have spoilers to a certain point. It's definitely post chapter 108, but it goes a bit AU from there. Still not sure if I'm going to have anyone besides Kureno be freed prior to the story; I'll leave it ambiguous for now.

Once more, the interior of the cat's room grew silent, it's sole occupant slipping off to sleep. Tohru called his name softly, testing to see if he'd react. Given no response, she smiled sadly and rose, dusting off her knees.

She was more nervous tonight then the previous, only because she knew what kind of hell she might be put through. Her cheek still stung when she thought about the abuse she'd received from Akito, and yet she was still going back - she knew that this was her last option for information, and that the verbal beating she'd taken paled in comparison to what the Juunishi had grown up with.

She was tired. After spending last night crying and thinking, work had been a struggle. She'd tried to catch an extra hour's sleep before her daily ritual, but had found herself too restless to sleep. That fatigue was catching up to Tohru now, causing her to stumble on occasion as she made her way through the Sohma grounds.

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Chapter 3: Idle plans

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Not once did going home appear as an option in her mind.

Finally, she reached Akito's house. The Goddess was not outside to greet her this time, and Tohru was admittedly grateful for that. Tentatively, she tapped on the door, waiting for a moment as she listened for any movement inside.

It was one of Akito's servants who answered. Recognizing the girl, she tried to shoo the visitor away, as much for Tohru's own well being as to avoid irritating her master.

But the Goddess already knew that someone was there. She'd expected Tohru to be stupid enough to come back for more.

"Leave us," Akito said to the servant, who quickly obliged, seeming to vanish as she ducked out of sight. Everyone who served Akito was the same way; quick to please, quicker to get away from their master. Tohru was barely conscious of the retreat; her thoughts left her for a moment as her gaze met the Goddess's, then fell to the floor, avoiding eye contact. Even to one who wasn't mercilessly tied to the great head of the family, Akito held an unbelievable amount of power. Tohru, like most others, feared her and what she could do.

A moment of silence passed as the Goddess looked her over, before finally speaking, her tone demanding. "Why are you here again?"

"I..." she paused, considering her answer carefully - not to be sure she said something that would not upset Akito, but rather to ensure she said what she meant. "I'm here to ask if there's any way to free the Juunishi from the curse."

"They're not yours to decide what to do with."

Tohru wanted to scream. To fight back, to shout, over the words that hurt her the most every time. They weren't hers, but they weren't Akito's either, and she wanted to tell her that, wanted to so badly. Instead, she simply whispered, "I don't want to do anything with them. I just want them to be happy."

"Your stupidity disgusts me," Akito snarled, closing the door.

"Wait!" Tohru called after, but this time, the Goddess dd not turn her attention back to the intruder; only the night responded to Tohru's desperate cry. Her head lowered, eyes shutting as she allowed herself to be discouraged for the moment. She was too tired to keep trying for the night.

She'd be back the next, though.

Morning came, the light taunting Tohru through the blinds. She whined, rolling over and rubbing her eyes before giving the clock a glance. It was the weekend, which meant no work for a change, and any other person would have been in no hurry to get up. Today, even the industrious Tohru felt like just going back to sleep, but she forced herself awake anyway, sitting up and yawning as she stretched out her arms.

The apartment she'd moved into after graduation was tiny, but fitting for her. The main part was one large room, with a table in the center and her bed and dresser tucked into the corners. Toward the front was the kitchen on one side and the bathroom on the other, a hall between the two leading straight to the door. While not spotless, the place was tidy and fairly organized, the only real mess being the pile of clothes she'd tiredly strewn off the night before.

It was already nearly ten, and she needed to go shopping today, as evidenced by the dwindling supply in her fridge. There was still more than enough to make breakfast though, and so she began to cook, instinctively wishing there were others around to cook for so she had an excuse to make more food. She loved cooking; it allowed her to take her mind off things, especially when someone was around to talk with.

On a whim, she pulled out the phone, dialing Isuzu's number. There was no surprise when Hatsuharu answered the phone, and he managed to distract Tohru for a couple of minutes, obviously not wanting her to disturb his precious Rin. After a moment's teasing, he finally gave up the phone to let the girls talk, though Tohru was certain he was sitting in the background giving his girlfriend a bored pout.

"Hello, Isuzu-chan," Tohru greeted, enjoying a few minutes of formalities and chit-chat before getting to her point. "I had an idea... Yes, about that," her words were careful, as were Isuzu's; while most the Juunishi knew the girls had been trying to break the curse, they didn't like alerting anyone, especially not the temperamental Haru, to their plans. "Do you think we could meet somewhere so I could tell you about it...?"


	4. Less than subtle interactions

1A/N: Ah, yes, I suppose I should have put up a spoiler notice on the first chapter, given that I often forget most people haven't read book 13 yet. Akito is a girl. It's a canon fact. Get over it. (Don't believe me? Just google the phrase "Akito is a girl".)

She's also fucking Shigure. And has fucked Kureno. Welcome to Fruit's Basket. This series is not to be marketed to small children.

Spoilers may go clear to chapter 116. Just for future reference. The above already covers basically anything I'm currently planning on having assumed, though.))

Tohru sat waiting in front of the café, sipping her tea. She was early, as she tended to be, but Isuzu had a habit of being perfectly on time, so she knew she wouldn't have to wait long. Sure enough, the raven-haired woman came striding down the block, accompanied by her ever-present boyfriend. Hatsuharu was attached firmly to Isuzu's hand, his face blank, making it seem like he was being led along by her, oblivious to his surroundings. That probably wasn't far from the truth.

Tohru waved and stood to greet her older friend, who gave her a sort of one armed hug in return. She'd never been the type to hug anyone anyway, and as her other hand was still occupied, the situation was even more awkward. Tohru sat down after smiling at Hatsuharu in greeting. He merely ruffled her hair absentmindedly as he continued into the café, leaving the two girls alone for the moment.

"He seems even more out of it than usual," Tohru admitted after the door had shut.

"He's just tired," Isuzu mumbled. "So, I'm assuming you wanted to talk about...?"

Tohru nodded, glancing at the Ox inside the shop. He was unaware of the girls' continued quest to find a cure, primarily because they were careful to keep it that way. Rin had, by now, perfected the arts of doing things behind his back and of keeping him busy while they were talking. This weekend, he would be spending the time with Hiro and Kisa - but not before he spoiled his girlfriend by buying her lunch.

He reemerged from the café, carrying a soda in one hand and a bento in the other, a tea carefully balanced on the lid. He set down the latter in front of her, taking a sip from the former as he watched her for a moment. The two fell into a staring contest, which left most observers nervously looking away from the pair, as it seemed they were seconds away from either falling into a passionate embrace or attempting to murder one another. That was the intensity of their relationship; either one seemed equally likely to those who didn't notice.

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Chapter 4: Less than subtle interactions

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It was only when Tohru giggled that they finally broke off the stare, Isuzu reluctantly taking a few bites of her food to appease Haru. He in turn looked to Tohru, puzzled by her laughter.

"I'm sorry," she said, covering her mouth to quiet her giggles. "I just think it's so sweet how you two have been together for so long and yet you can still get lost in each others' eyes like that."

There was another pause as the couple glanced at each other, Isuzu raising an eyebrow and Hatsuharu simply shrugging. Tohru's naivety was amazing, though no one could be sure whether her unique perspective made her more adorable or brilliant.

The silence continued awkwardly until Rin finally elbowed her boyfriend, cuing him to leave. "Oh, right, girl time," he said, giving Rin a quick kiss then starting to walk away. He quickly stopped and went in the other, muttering something to the effect of, "the kids," and wandering off.

"So," she said finally once he was out of sight, "What did you find out? It must be big if you had to see me today."

Tohru shook her head a little, suddenly worried she'd blown things out of proportion. "I haven't really found out anything yet... It's more of a hunch than anything else." She paused for a moment until the Horse nodded for her to continue, trying to put things together carefully. "I've been thinking... And, well... do you think Akito would know anything about how to break the curse?"

The icy gaze she received made Tohru glad that she hadn't mentioned going to see Akito already. "Even if he knew something, I highly doubt he'd tell any of us. He'd more likely lie or even just kill anyone for asking him."

For an instant, Tohru was confused and nearly corrected Isuzu, before remembering that she was one of the many who were unaware of Akito's true gender. She wanted to tell her, but decided that now was obviously not the place and time, especially not when Isuzu was actually eating for a change. So instead, she simply nodded, sighing a little. "I guess that's true. I just thought it couldn't hurt to try, and we're running low on other options."

The Horse let out a sigh, stirring her tea and leaning on one elbow. "Yes, we are... But we'll exhaust every other option before trying that one. And, if it comes to that, I'll be the one to ask him."

Tohru nodded once more, lowering her head afterwards. She felt, inside, as though she was lying to her friend, but she knew this was for the best.

After a moment of quiet, the girl took a sip of her tea and then put on her best smile, changing the subject.

That night went exactly as the previous had: questions were asked and doors were slammed. The next was the same, as was the next, and the next...


	5. The hand that feeds

1But the next, something changed.

It was Shigure who answered the door that night, leaving Tohru in a state of total shock. Judging by the way he stammered her name, he was equally surprised, but she left too quickly to ask. She ran across the grounds at top speed, collapsing behind a row of bushes and covering her mouth as she gasped for air, muffling any sound in case the Dog had followed her.

It was less his presence and more his appearance that had startled the girl, and she ran over it again in her head. His hair had been disheveled, his yukata rumpled and half-open, his face somewhere between distracted and annoyed. She hadn't seen him since she'd moved out after graduation, but in three years living in his house, she had never seen her caretaker in such a state.

Tonight, for the first time in nearly two weeks, Tohru went home early.

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Chapter 5: The hand that feeds

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Shigure stood just outside the door, looking around for the girl who'd just run off. He considered calling after her, but decided it wouldn't be worth his effort, instead turning and returning inside, slipping the door shut behind him.

He wasn't sure which surprised him more; Tohru's presence or how quickly she'd run away. It was clear she hadn't expected him to be there, but why would she have been at Akito's house to begin with? It seemed almost entirely illogical, and the only plausible explanation seemed unlikely. On the off chance the ever-persistent duo had decided to come ask the Goddess herself about the curse, it was Rin he expected to show up at the door.

The Dog was pulled back from his thoughts by a call from Akito. "Who was at the door?" she asked, her tone indicating she was asking purely out of formality.

"Tohru, strangely enough. She took off the instant she saw me." Shigeru glanced at the Goddess, watching her carefully for any twinge of emotion. He got what he wanted as a snarl flashed over the girl's face at the mention of Tohru's name. "Has she been here before?"

Akito hesitated, then scoffed dramatically, stepping lightly across the tatami floor toward Shigure. "No," she lied, then set her lips to his before he had a chance to disbelieve her, one hand fastening tightly to the wrinkled edge of his yukata. In turn, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight for a passionate moment, the smirk growing on his face hidden by the kiss. "She has no reason to be here... this place is just for you and me," she added between shallow breaths, hands digging into his hair.

He chuckled, his ego growing from her words. There were no more questions from the Dog, only actions as he began to strip the girl before him, goading her with kisses and nips which she gladly returned.

They were on the floor before long, bodies intertwined even before the last of their clothing was removed. He knew just where to kiss her to make her desperate, a talent produced by experience and research for his writing. As she writhed beneath him, his pleased sneer only grew, a subtle disgust with her building within him as it always did. He made no effort to be romantic about the act, only to drive her insane in it. To make her call his name and surrender to him.

Her skin was soft beneath him - a rare treat he could get only from her and from no other woman, the other, even younger, Juunishi women aside. Her face was softer still, tears forming as he whispered his love to her. He loved how she believed him time after time, no matter how often he lied. How it was she who was blindly loyal to him.

There had been a time when he'd truly loved Akito, but that time was long gone. It was the power he got from her that he craved and loved now; the sensation of total control he got from seeing a God laid bare before him, quivering under his touch. Her surrender was his temporary salvation, his driving force. He could reduce the great Goddess, the head of the family, to nothing more than another human girl from one of his cheesy novels. Every time, she accepted him willingly, even took him herself, and every time she only inflated him more, until by now he considered himself above even her.

He was certainly above the other Juunishi, for it was he, the Dog, who was shown love by his master time after time.


End file.
